Two weeks ago I had the best time. And it hit closer to home then I thought it would.
For my second year of celebrating (in case you’re new here… two years ago the King granted my biggest wish: approving me to have a new last name) the start of my new life, I wanted to celebrate it a different way. I mean I am aware it’s only my second year, but last year I threw a wake, this time around I wanted to live. Only I wasn’t prepared that it was going to be with meeting my old self. And let me tell you, there was no other person I would have rather spent it with.
It all started a few months back when I was planning what to do for my rebirthday. I knew I wanted to travel so I explored many options. I landed on two: a staycation or going on a citytrip to Germany. Weeks moved by and for some reasons neither stuck and I guess it was the universe’s way of having a plan ready for me. Cause instead, the day before my rebirthday I went to somebody retirementparty. A person with whom I worked with for well over a decade. Once I started That Blonde Woman fulltime she was my very first client. And I can’t thank her enough for everything she has meant to me and my career. She pushed me in ways no one else has. Teached me new things, encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone again and again.
At the party I was reminded of my favourite parts of my past with some of the people I lived it with. I laughed, cried and hugged it out. Without knowing back then, it was my homecoming weekend. A weekend I got to meet younger me again, but embodied by me who has lived it all. So many of the dreams she told herself she one day would achieve and she did.
I chatted with the man who told me back then how I should prepare my finances when I would one day become a freelancer. Now a decade later he gave me advice for the next phase of my career.
I talked with the person who is my age and with whom I flew through the ranks together. It is incredible we now work together on projects.
I hugged the person who hired me and believed in me even if I didn’t have the right credentials. She kicked the door open for many opportunities in my life.
Finally I said goodbye to a mentor whose teaching will forever be part of my work ethic. Her embrace was filled with the encouragement that will last me a lifetime.
That night I found myself in another city where I used to spend a lot of time with someone who is no longer in my life. It felt like I saw memories of ghosts. It wasn’t unpleasant. It was rather like ink of a pen that bled through the page, and I am now on the other side of the page making something new with the ink. I had the best time doing so.
But this time around being surrounded with new people who understand the challenges I have been through and we had a lovely afternoon filled with everything and nothing at once. With delicious snacks and endless chats.
And that’s how I spent my rebirthday. Okay that, and this lovely website was temporarily offline for a big maintenance. Which was terrifying, because 12,5 years of content was being distributed to another platform. Luckily a dear friend of mine managed to do so.
After a long afternoon I went into the city, did some shopping and ended up having an early night in. Enjoying the sweet treat of having a queensized hotelbed.
The fun was far from over. The next day I started with more shopping, had a lovely breakfast and visited a museum. There was a painting that stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t place it until I realised I am used to seeing that painting somewhere else. A museum I used to work at. We borrowed that painting for an exposition. Looking at that painting was staring at another life I could have lived. In the end I moved on.
I saw multiple options I had for my future during this weekend, but none of them could have possibly made me as happy as the current one I live. The thing is, if I would have lived any of those other lives I probably wouldn’t have changed my name, cause certain dominoes wouldn’t have fallen. I have chosen the less desired path of life and it was incredibly hard. However at the same time, I feel closer to me than I could have ever been living any of the other lives.
This weekend confirmed for me I am exactly where I am supposed to be. It was lovely that I was even welcomed home. Not in a traditional sense. But a place I had fun working at, people I did the work with and a painting that catched my eye after I cared for it on the other side of the country. Spending time with my old self for my rebirthday was the last thing how I expected to celebrate it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Love,
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